“We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off”

I loved this song back in the 80’s. Even Jon Dean likes it. It has a nice rhythm and pleasing, nonsense lyrics. Something about the title though………..

Memories of the nudist camp! Ever since I was a kid, I wondered what it would be like where everyone wandered around in the buff. Think of the eye candy. I did, and one time when I was about twenty-eight or so, I went to a “naturist resort” called Shangri-La in Phoenix, AZ. It was way out on the far edge of the city. They advertised these coupons in one of the underground papers for a discount pass. Some discount. As soon as I got there, they told me the coupon was no longer good. So you are out there, having driven a long ways, and see a bit of eye candy. Are you going to turn around? Like any red-blooded guy (and shmuck), I reached in my wallet and shelled out $50 for a three visit pass, the cheapest pass available.

A resort it was not. A trailer park with a budget motel-style swimming pool and a few tennis courts. Many of the guys there wore these large, mirrored sunglasses. Also, a lot of fat people. A lot of very fat people. So fat that the folds covered their private areas. No wonder you see a lot of fat people at nudist camps. There were some families with little kids there, but it was mostly straight-acting guys and old, fat couples. Unattached women were virtually non-existent at this place.

You will often hear people say that nudist camps are not sexual. "Oh, how could you think any such thing," is what the enlightened will tell you. I talked to a lot of guys there who repeated, ad nauseau, the story about some young blonde girl who was absolutely gorgeous and graced the men with her presence the previous week. Also, they kept asking me if I knew any women that I could invite to the camp. How pathetic. It sure sounded sexual to me. While I didn't see any overt sexual acts, the sexual undertone here was very strong based on my conversations with other men.

Shangri-La quickly became boring. Very boring. Most people really do look better wearing clothes.

Would I go back to another resort? All I can say is that with the three visit pass, I only used two.